


Separation

by foreverandeveralone



Series: Destiny Is Illogical [2]
Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Humor, M/M, Shore Leave, Space Husbands, Space family
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-26
Updated: 2016-05-15
Packaged: 2018-02-22 17:26:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,610
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2515847
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/foreverandeveralone/pseuds/foreverandeveralone
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Spock and Jim took their 5-year-old son, Soren, on shore leave with a plan to spend some quality family time together, just the three of them.</p><p>But things didn't always go according to plan.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

“Soren, it is illogical to bring too many of your belongings.” – Spock said gently as he tried to pry his son’s backpack from those tiny hands, which were still clutching onto it tightly – “We are only going on shore leave for 3 days after all. I and your father have already prepared everything necessary.”

 

“You cannot be certain whether these will be useful or not.” – Soren answered stubbornly, his blue eyes locked with his father’s brown ones as he refused to let go of his backpack.

 

“I’m pretty sure you don’t need your books.” – Jim said as he exited the bathroom and approached his little family, picking up his son and gently removed the backpack from the little Vulcan’s hands – “We’re going on shore leave, to spend some quality time together. Just the three of us. And that means no work whatsoever. I and your father don’t bring our PADDs, so you can’t bring your books either.” – Jim said with a smile as he kissed his son’s cheek gently before running his other hand, the one that was not holding his son up, through the little Vulcan’s black hair and messed it up.

 

Soren pouted slightly, but he knew he could never refuse his father anything, just like his other father couldn’t.

 

“Very well.” – the 5-year-old quarter-Vulcan boy said after a while, and Jim just grinned triumphantly at Spock, who just looked at his little family in fond exasperation.

 

***

 

“I do not see the logic in lying here and just looking up in the sky.” – Soren mumbled from his place between his parents as the three of them just laid on the grass, looking up at the night sky full of stars.

 

“Me neither.” – Spock replied – “Next time, you and I shall attend a science convention on shore leave, and Jim can do stargazing alone.”

 

“That seems like a great idea, father.” – Soren said, his eyes still gazing at the stars. He knew that he (and his father) actually enjoyed these moments where there were only the three of them in their own little world, not having to care about anything else, but they also enjoyed teaming up and making fun of his human father.

 

“Honestly, I do not know why I put up with you two science geeks.” – Jim said with a laugh as he pushed Spock on his shoulder slightly, before letting out a content sigh as he dropped his eyes to his son’s black hair. The more Soren grew up, the more he became Spock’s son. The little Vulcan worshipped the ground Spock walked on. When he was younger, he would always be on Jim’s side, laughing, pouting, making fun of Spock. But as he grew older, he started to bond with Spock. One night, Jim was woken up in the middle of the night because of some whispering, only to find out that since Soren and Spock didn’t need as much sleep as he was because of their Vulcan physiology, Soren would enter his parents’ room after he had finished his sleeping cycle, curl up on a sleeping Jim and talked to Spock about everything he could think of.

 

Yeah, people said that Soren had Jim’s deep blue eyes when they first see him, but Jim knew full well that apart from the eyes, Soren was like a mini-Spock. Jim had tried his best to persuade Soren to follow the command track and become a captain like him, but Soren had made it clear that he was going to be a scientist like Spock. When he informed his parents of his decision, Jim just pouted, while Spock’s eyes shone with pride and love, and that was enough to make Jim stop pouting and grin, telling his son that no matter what his decision was, Jim would still be proud of him.

 

And, to be honest, Jim wouldn’t have him any other way.

 

“The view sure is beautiful.” – Jim mumbled, eyes glued to the night sky in awe. He had always known that he belonged there, outer space.

 

“It most certainly is.” – Spock’s voice could be heard from beside him. Jim turned his head to his side, only to see that the Vulcan wasn’t looking at the sky, but at him instead. And Jim knew that the Vulcan wasn’t talking about the sky either.

 

And that made him blush a deep red.

 

Spock’s eyes softened into that Vulcan smile of his, before reaching out his hand and touched his two fingers against Jim’s cheek.

 

“I cherish you.” – he mouthed.

 

And Jim could feel happy tears threatening to fall from his eyes, and he had to blink several times to will them away before grinning back at Spock, letting love and contentment and happiness and all kind of happy emotions flowing through their bond.

 

Then they resumed their illogical star-gazing with their son.

 

But unfortunately, their happy moments didn’t last long.

 

Suddenly, Spock sat up, his back stiff and his eyes widened.

 

“Spock? What’s wrong?” – Jim asked as he and Soren also slowly sat up too, but Spock just held up a hand, signaling for Jim to be silent. Then, his eyes widened even more before he quickly picked Soren up in one of his arms, while his other hand grabbed Jim and stood up, pulling Jim up with him.

 

“Be silent, both of you.” – Spock whispered to both his bond mate and his son before running towards the nearby cave, still holding Soren in one arm and Jim’s hand in his other hand. They had chosen a mountain that had a few caves, and had chosen to stargaze near one in case it might rain. And Spock had never been more grateful.

 

Spock quickly pulled Jim into the darkest corner of the cave, settling Soren into Jim’s arms before sitting in front of them, covering both of them with his own body. Jim was about to open his mouth to ask what happened, when he heard it. There were noises of people talking distantly, but Jim could still make out that there were quite a number of them. Of course Spock’s Vulcan hearing would pick up the noises first. But that didn’t explain Spock’s panic. For all Jim knew, they could be another group of tourists going up here to do some stargazing as well. This planet was a popular tourism destination anyway. So why…

 

And then, the talking became clearer as it drew closer. And Jim’s eyes widened when he realized what language it was.

 

Romulans.

 

He couldn’t understand what they were talking about, but he knew enough to know it was Romulans. But this was a Federation planet! How could the Romulans be here!?

 

He temporarily put his thoughts aside as he watched Spock fumbled for his communicator. Yeah, just call the Enterprise to bring them out of here first. Deal with the Romulans later. Had it been only Spock and him, he wouldn’t mind running out there and kick some Romulan asses, but he couldn’t risk Soren’s life like that. He placed a reassuring kiss on his son’s head as Spock opened the communicator.

 

“Enterprise, come in Enterprise.” – Spock whispered into the communicator.

 

Nothing.

 

“Enterprise, come in Enterprise. This is an emergency.” – Spock tried again.

 

Still nothing.

 

Not even static.

 

Spock tried a few more times, and still nothing. Jim could feel panic begin to build up inside him. The voices were getting closer and closer, and if they were discovered…

 

“What’s wrong?” – Jim asked, anxiety barely hidden from his voice.

 

“I am not certain.” – Spock whispered back – “I can only guess, that the Romulans have some kind of device that is able to interfere with the transmission, therefore making the communicator useless.”

 

“Then what are we supposed to do?” – Jim asked, this time with real panic – “At this rate, they’re gonna find us soon!”

 

Spock cast a glance at the cave entrance before glancing back at Jim, then at Soren, before looking at Jim again.

 

“I have a plan.” – Spock whispered.

 

“What plan?” – Jim asked, even though he had a feeling he wouldn’t like it.

 

“I will get out and lead them away from here.” – Jim’s eyes widened when he heard of Spock’s ‘brilliant plan’ – “When they are far enough, the communicator might work again. You and Soren can beam up and…”

 

“NO.” – Jim cut his bond mate off, sternly – “There’s no way I’ll let you do that. It’s too risky.”

 

“But Jim, that’s the only…” – Spock tried, but was once again cut off.

 

“Absolutely not. Why do you have to be the one to lure them away and not me?”

 

“Because they are specifically looking for me. Do you remember our mission to SAT II 2 point 3 months ago? Apparently I have permanently incapacitated 3 high-ranked Romulan commanders on that mission when I fought them off to save the away team, and now they are looking for revenge.”

 

“Still no. What if something happens to you? What if we can’t get to you in time? If something happens to you, Spock, it will kill us. Me and Soren. We can’t live without you.” – Jim said earnestly.

 

“Father is correct, sa-mekh.” – Soren said from where he was sitting on Jim’s laps.

 

“Wow, this is the first time you have agreed to me in forever.” – Jim grinned to his son, trying to lighten the mood.

 

Spock sighed. He had no other choice. He knew he couldn’t deny these two most important beings in his life anything.

 

“All right.” – he relented – “We will come up with something else.”

 

“That’s all right.” – Jim smiled warmly – “Come here.”

 

Using the other hand that was not holding Soren in his place, Jim wrapped his arm around Spock’s neck and felt his husband’s strong arms came up behind his back, hugging him back just as tight, Soren in the middle of them. They stayed like that for a while before Jim felt Spock’s hands moved upwards to his neck.

 

Jim’s eyes widened as he began to move away. Spock wasn’t going to…

 

But it was too late. In a blink of an eye, Jim’s eyes shut down, his whole body falling into Spock’s embrace as he lost his consciousness.

 

Soren’s eyes widened as he watched his father lose consciousness and was lowered to the ground gently by his sa-mekh.

 

“Did you nerve pinch him?” – Soren asked in disbelief.

 

“I did. Otherwise he would never let me go.” – Spock replied, strangely calm, aware that the voices were getting closer and closer.

 

“But you cannot do this!” – the little Vulcan’s voice was getting emotional. He had tried his best to be a good Vulcan, to keep his emotions at bay, but he couldn’t anymore. Not when his sa-mekh was about to run into death – “Please sa-mekh! Don’t leave us!”

 

“I will not let anything happen to you and Jim if I can do anything about it.” – Spock replied, his voice full of authority, clearly stopping any arguments. – “I trust you know how to operate a communicator?” – he was looking directly at his son.

 

Soren just nodded silently.

 

“Keep this channel open.” – Spock said as he gently put the communicator in his son’s hands – “The Enterprise will come in automatically when the transmission is resumed. Instruct them to beam you and your father up immediately, understood?”

 

Soren just nodded again, unable to utter any more words.

 

Spock’s eyes softened as he looked at his son, then as his bond mate’s unconscious form again.

 

“When your father wakes up, tell him I am sorry. I am really, really sorry.” – Spock said, trying to remain calm, but his voice already broke a little – “If I cannot make it, tell your father that I…” – Spock cut himself off.

 

Soren’s eyes widened as he realized his calm Vulcan father was…choking. His eyes widened even more when he saw tears fell from his sa-mekh’s eyes.

 

“Tell your father that I love you and him so much, will you?” – Spock resumed with a broken voice as he held Jim’s hand in his own – “I love you two more than anything in this world.”

 

Unable to hold it any longer, Spock gathered his son in his arms and hugged him tightly before placing a gentle kiss on Soren’s black hair, feeling his son’s tears soaking his shirt a little bit.

 

He then put his son back on the ground, next to his unconscious bond mate. He then lowered himself and placed a gentle kiss on Jim’s lips before standing up. He then gave his son the ta’al and watched as Soren mirrored his gesture before pulling out his phaser and rushed outside.

 

Soren just sat on the ground in the cave, hearing phasers shot and loud noises of people shouting and yelling not long after. He flinched whenever he heard a phaser was shot, fearing that it might be the last shot and that his sa-mekh had been hit, but the shooting kept going on and on until it grew more and more distant.

 

The little Vulcan child sat there, completely lost track of time. He had no idea how long he had been sitting there when he heard static coming from the communicator in his hand. His eyes widened as he gripped the communicator harder. The static went on for a while before Mr. Scott’s voice came from it.

 

“Enterprise! Enterprise calling! Captain, Commander, are you there?”

 

“This is Soren.” – Soren replied quickly, his voice still shaking – “2 to beam up. Please beam us up immediately.”

 

“Locked onto your location. 2 to beam up.” – Scotty’s voice could be heard, before the transporter beam surrounded Soren and Jim. Moments later, both of them reappeared on the transported pad. First thing Soren noticed when he re-materialized was Uncle Bones pushing through everyone in the transporter room to get to him and his father, and stopped short in his track when he saw tears were still streaming down the little Vulcan’s face while Jim was unconscious.

 

“Soren? Why is Jim unconscious? Where is Spock? Why are you crying? What happened?”

 

***

 

_2 weeks later._

 

“Captain, I’m so sorry.” – the planet’s leader said apologetically through the screen – “I am still investigating on how the Romulans managed to land on our planet, but my guess is that they had disguised themselves as Vulcans. You know that Vulcans and Romulans are basically the same in appearances. I have also sent people searching the entire planet, but so far we still haven’t found any trace of the Commander.”

 

“All right.” – Jim nodded grimly from his chair – “Thank you for your support. Please, just keep searching.”

 

“I will. Once again, I’m sorry for your situation.”

 

Jim cut off the transmission before comming Giotto, who was leading an Enterprise team searching on the same mountain where they had been.

 

“Found anything?” – Jim asked impatiently.

 

“Nothing, captain.” – Giotto said apologetically through the communicator – “Apart from the Commander’s phaser that we managed to retrieve from the stream one week ago, there is no other sign of him. I’m sorry, sir.”

 

“Keep on searching.”

 

“Yes sir.”

 

Jim cut off the transmission and sank further back into the captain’s chair, eyes gazing into the space in front of him without actually seeing anything.

 

“Jim…” – Bones started, but Jim immediately cut him off.

 

“I know he’s alive, Bones! I just fucking know it!” – Jim said, his voice raised – “Spock once told me that breaking a bond will cause serious headaches, nausea, migraines, everything uncomfortable, especially one as strong as ours! And I’m completely healthy! The bond is just muted, not broken, that means he’s still out there!”

 

“How do you actually feel about the bond?” – Bones asked slowly.

 

“Like it was never there.” – Jim said in a small voice – “Like I never bonded with him. I can’t feel him, at all.”

 

“Jim…” – Bones started again, but he was cut off by Uhura’s voice.

 

“Captain, new orders from Starfleet.” – Uhura’s voice hesitated a little bit, before continuing – “They order us to leave the planet for a new mission, sir. They told us to leave the search for the local authorities.”

 

The entire bridge fell silent as soon as Uhura stopped talking. Everybody was pointedly not looking at the captain, whose grip on the chair became tighter.

 

“Mr. Sulu” – Jim said, standing up – “You have the conn.”

 

“Captain.” – Sulu said, but Jim had already made it to the turbo lift. Bones made to follow him, but Jim held up a hand.

 

“Please, Bones, I need to be alone right now.”

 

With that, Jim entered the lift and let it close behind him.

 

***

 

Soren slowly entered his parents’ quarters through the joined bathroom. As his parents only needed one room, they picked the captain’s quarters and left the first officer’s quarters unoccupied. But that changed when little Soren came into life, as it was only logical for their son to take the first officer’s quarters.

 

As he entered the bedroom, his heart broke as he took in the sight of his father, sitting on the edge of the bed, staring at the empty space in front of him without even realizing that his son had entered. Soren hadn’t seen his father cry even once since he woke up, but somehow this was even worse. He wished that his father would just cry and let all those grief out instead of holding it inside like this.

 

“Father.” – Soren mumbled as he came to stand in front of Jim.

 

Startled, Jim looked down into his son’s own blue eyes. Trying to crack a smile, he picked his son up into his arms.

 

“Hey pumpkin.” – Jim whispered lovingly – “Have you had dinner yet?”

 

“I have not.” – Soren mumbled into his father’s neck, his tiny arms wrapping around it – “I wish to have dinner with you.”

 

“Alright.” – Jim whispered back – “We’ll go down to the mess hall in a while, okay? We’ll show everyone that we’re fine.”

 

“I am not fine.” – Soren shook his head slightly – “There has been nobody to tell me I am being illogical for 2 weeks, father.” – Jim’s eyes widened when he felt something wet against his neck, and it didn’t take him long to realize his son was crying – “I miss him, father. I miss him a lot.”

 

And Jim broke. He buried his head in his son’s hair, and tears couldn’t stop falling. It was the first time he had cried since he woke up, and he couldn’t hold back anymore.

 

“He promised me.” – Jim said through his broken voice, into his son’s hair. Soren looked so much like Spock, and Jim couldn’t hold it back anymore – “He promised me, when I was 4, that he would never leave me, even if I push him away! And I wasn’t pushing him away! I was holding him back! Why did he still leave me? Leave us? Why? He doesn’t love us anymore, right? Because if he does, he would never have left us like that!”

 

The two of them just held onto each other tightly and cried their hearts out for a long time, before the crying could finally come to a stop. The crying helped ease the grief, somehow, as Jim pulled away to place a kiss on his son’s forehead.

 

“We will find him. I won’t stop, I promise.” – Jim said to his son with determination – “I know he is alive, and he is waiting for us to find him. We will get him back, and this time we will get to tell him that he was being illogical this time.” – Jim cracked a smile – “I can’t wait.”

 

Soren just nodded in agreement.

 

“But to do that, I have to stay strong.” – Jim said again, to Soren but also to reassure himself – “I need to keep this ship, because that is the only way I can travel around and search for him.”

 

“I will help you.” – Soren mumbled from where he was sitting on Jim’s laps – “May I move in your quarters with you, father?”

 

“Of course, pumpkin.” – Jim kissed his son’s forehead again, realizing that his son was in need of physical contact as much as he did, and hoping that it could help them ease the pain – “Of course.”


	2. Chapter 2

“Jim, hey!” – Gary called out for him as Jim exited the Academy.

The Enterprise was being refitted for another mission, and the process took a year, so in the meantime Jim had agreed to take up a temporary teaching position at Starfleet Academy during the gap time. And about 3 months after, he ran into Gary Mitchell, an old friend back in his student days. Gary was a nice guy, but he used to hit on Jim even though he had made it clear that he wasn’t interested, not until Spock showed up and leveled him with a Vulcan death glare did he stop.

But now, without Spock here, apparently Gary was back to his old ways.

“Hey.” – he asked as he caught up to Jim – “You busy tonight? I just found this awesome restaurant that serves the best steak ever not far from here, and it would be great if you could join me for dinner.”

Jim sighed. Not this again.

“I’m sorry, Gary, but I can’t. I have a son and I can’t leave him alone.” – Jim said tightly.

“I’m pretty sure you can find someone else to look after him for just one night.” – Gary kept on insisting – “Like your doctor friend, I’m pretty sure he would be happy to.”

Jim’s jaw twitched. Seriously, did he really have to say everything outright? Why can’t the guy take the hints and leave him alone?

“It’s not about your son, is it?” – Gary continued – “Come on, Jim, it’s been two years. It’s time for you to move on, to…”

“I’m sorry, but are you a half Vulcan whose name happens to be Spock and has a son with me?” – Jim turned to face him and gave him a hard glare – “because that’s the only one I’ll ever go out for dinner with. Besides, I refuse to believe he is dead until I see his body, and as long as I believe he’s alive I won’t stop searching for him. And so, if you want to continue being my friend, then never mention this topic again, or I’ll stop talking to you altogether. See you later.”

With that, Jim turned and stormed off, leaving Gary behind.

***

“Hey.” – Jim said gently and dropped his PADD on the bedside table as Soren walked in – “You done with your homework yet?”

Soren only nodded slightly before climbing onto the bed and laid down next to Jim.

“What about meditation? Do you still find it difficult to concentrate?” – Jim asked gently as he let his hand play with his son’s silky black hair.

“It is less difficult now.” – Soren mumbled, enjoying his father’s hand in his hair – “It is still not as easy as when father was still there to guide me, but with grandfather and the Ambassador’s help I can manage it.”

“Good.” – Jim nodded as he tugged his son into a full hug and Soren went willingly, burrowing his head under Jim’s chin.

“I miss him.” – Soren mumbled again – “I want to find him.”

“Me too.” – Jim mumbled into Soren’s hair – “We’ll go on another mission, and we’ll find him, I promise.”

Soren gave a slight nod and curled his fingers around his father’s shirt. They laid like that for a while and Soren quickly fell asleep, Jim following not soon after.

***  
It felt like forever, but at last it was announced that the Enterprise was ready for the next mission. Jim didn’t expect it, but almost everyone from his old crew had signed on for another 5 years with him. Most of them submitted the form with the reason being their desire to work with Captain Kirk again, but Jim could somehow feel that they also had hope that they might be able to find Commander Spock and bring him home.

“Hey Bones.” – Jim grinned as he entered the sickbay, Soren following right after.

“Oh look, I’m being demoted to the Captain’s baby-sitter again.” – Leonard rolled his eyes as he looked up from his desk.

“Oh shut up. Sickbay’s supposed to be the safest place on the ship and you know it.” – Jim waved his hand as he watched his son take his usual seat – right next to Bones. McCoy’s desk had a small corner that the doctor himself had set up for his nephew (“shut up Bones, you’re his official uncle, there’s no way you’re getting out of it”) and that had been going on ever since… well, McCoy couldn’t remember how long it had been.

“Be nice for Uncle Bones, okay?” – Jim smiled at his son.

“I am always nice.” – Soren replied in a serious tone, and McCoy let out a snort. He coughed and went back to his work when Jim shot him a glare. Turning his attention back to his son, Jim ruffled the boy’s head before turning to leave med bay.

“We’ll find your dad, kiddo.” – Jim heard Bones tell his son right before the door to sickbay slid close, and Jim had to close his eyes to stop any tear from rolling out. He was the captain. He needed to be strong for his crew.

***  
“Thank you for coming to our aid in time, Captain Kirk.” – Lera, leader of the Asari, offered Jim a handshake – “Without your help, the number of casualties would have been even higher.”

“It’s no big deal, actually.” – Jim smiled pleasantly – “I have already contacted Starfleet headquarters. They’ll have supplies sent to Thessia soon.”

“Thank you.” – Lera nodded – “We were having a really hard time. I mean, I believe the Asari could have handled the situation ourselves, but had it not been for you and the Different One, we would have taken even more casualties. Thanks to your help, the Council had decided that we would accept your offer of joining the Federation.”

“The Different One?” – Jim asked, feeling quite curious. Somehow, he was more concerned about this “different one” than the news of the successful mission.

“We don’t know what else to call him.” – Lera frowned – “His shuttle crash landed on our planet a year ago. At first, we were all a little wary, but he seemed peaceful and did not show any sign of a violent nature, so we let him remain. He lives on the nearby mountain, grows his own vegetables, and occasionally comes down to the city for trade, but that’s it. He doesn’t bother anyone, so we just let him be, and it’s quite lucky that we did.”

“And how’s that?”

“Apparently he is a very competent fighter. He had this technique that could incapacitate an enemy with just one touch, and he can fight 5 of them at the same time. He also had some knowledge in medicinal science. Seriously, he helped save a lot of our people. The only barrier is that he never says anything, but that doesn’t seem to create any significant difficulty.”

“A strange species, then?” – Jim frowned, his arms crossed in front of his chest.

“He looks like humans, actually.” – Lera said thoughtfully – “Except for his ears and his eyebrows. They’re all pointed, how strange. But apart from those, he looks just like a human. Everything else….”

Lera went on for a little bit longer, but Jim didn’t hear anything else after “pointed”.

Could it be?

After being stunned for a couple seconds, Jim immediately turned towards the mountain and made a dash for it. He didn’t care about anything else, only to reach the mountain as soon as possible.

5 years… It had been 5 years, Jim thought, ignoring the burning in his eyes. Would this finally be it?

**Author's Note:**

> Anybody play Mass Effect?


End file.
